Fading Light (Final Installment)
By the time we arrive at Indrumara’s home, the sun sits at the base of the horizon. It’s fading light cools the air from its warm golden hues to relaxing blues. Indrumara pours a glass of clean water into a crystal cup that was handcrafted by the elves long ago. We’re lucky these ones survived when my kind began stealing from them. She hands me the cup and pours herself one as well.
“You have been such a bright light in our clan, Larissa. You are doing marvelous in your training, and I even heard your slowly getting better with your Sindarian.”
“Ha na- ú- sui man sui nin Quenyan.” It is not as good as my Quenyan.
She releases a laugh that sounds like music that was conducted by a professional musician. “Well, just saying that sentence shows you’re improving.” I can’t help but smile at her and take a sip of my water. It’s so clean, it’s as if I’m drinking melted diamonds. She walks to the center of the floor. Her settlement is planted in the middle of the woods with only the trees as her shelter. She doesn’t see the need of the wooden homes like the rest of us do. “Not only have you been doing wonderful in your tasks, but you seem to have been taking a guiding role with your fellow elves. You assist them with any difficulties of theirs without hesitation.”
“Is that a bad thing?” I ask hesitantly.
She looks at me surprised, as if I just cursed at her in elvish. “No! Absolutely not! I’m practically awestruck with what you’re doing with your part in our home.”
“I just see myself doing the same thing as everyone else.”
“That may be true,” she says, turning towards me. “But I know there’s something about you that is different.” Her eyes fill up with an everlasting hope that almost takes my breath away. “There’s a unique quality you carry with you.”
“Is it because I’m the only human?”
The happiness in her eyes dim and she looks away.
“Larissa. I’ve actually been waiting for this moment for many years.”
Anxiety slowly begins to pump through my veins. “What do you mean?”
She looks back at me with an emotion I have never seen in her irises.
Sorrow.
“Do you still remember that day when you were rescued?”
As much as I try not to look back on it, I nod.
“And do you remember when Fagin brought you to me for the first time?”
I again nod.
“The moment he introduced me to you, I recognized you immediately.”
My cup almost slips from my hand, but my quick instincts grasp it before it can even fall. “How?” I ask stunned.
She looks away again, takes a deep breath, and tries to hold her composure that she’s always gracefully carried. It’s heart shattering seeing someone you’ve always seen as invincible leisurely breaking, as if their strength was only a weak shield.
Indrumara stares at me with a look of agonizing regret. “Your grandfather was my husband.”
Sweat begins to build up on the glass and no matter how tightly I hold onto it, it continues slipping.
“He and I had a son, your father, Franklin. He was born not too long after the elves and humans separated. We thought we were completely free from their horrendous ways, until your grandfather started changing. He wasn’t acting like himself. He grew easily irritated, he wanted to take charge and rule the realm all by himself, and even threatened to harm anyone who would disobey him. That’s when I realized our own kind were becoming submissive to the same evil as the humans were. Just like that night you refused to take your sister’s life, I refused to take my husband’s. I couldn’t imagine watching the life drain out of the eyes who belonged to my love. So, I banished him from Conimar, exactly what I did with your sister, but the next morning, your father was missing. Everyone and I searched the whole forest for him, when we spotted Maxel carrying him in the distance, but he was already in the nearby human city of Madison. We were too late to save your father.
“I immediately ordered my elves to at least keep an eye on Frank, in case your grandfather did anything to hurt him. Unfortunately, as they watched, he grew just as fraudulent as Maxel. Though he was long gone, one day someone reported to me he was married and had two children. Part of me wanted to let him rot in his revolting ways, but there was a small spark of hope that refused to go out. I gave him the orders to keep an eye on you and your sister and to be on guard if anything ever happened to you both. Ever since you were born, you have been watched over, until he was needed. And he achieved his mission when he finally slayed your grandfather.”
My cup drops and crashes on the smooth stones.
“I was thankful that Fagin brought you and Stella back to me. Not only did he save you from being killed, but you were also rescued from that retched world out there.” She glanced away. “Or at least I thought, until your sister ended up getting her personality from your father.” There’s so much emptiness in her eyes that the light they held appear to dim, but then they brighten back up when she looks at me. “That’s why I’m so proud of you. You were the only hope I held on to. First seeing my own husband give in to becoming a puppet to the malice that has entered our world, then hearing he took our own son the same path, I thought our entire species was doomed. I honestly thought you would be consumed by the darkness as well, but you weren’t. That’s why Fagin and I saw something special in you. You were the only one who held onto your true nature while the rest of the family faded away.”
“It was all Fagin. He raised me that way.”
“But you chose to listen to him when Stella didn’t.”
My body freezes in an invisible ice and refuses to break free.
All of my life was a partial lie. I thought I was different for being the only human among a clan of elves. But I’m not.
I’m just an elf who was touched by the shadows with the rest of my family, but I was the only one who escaped.
***
Moonlight spills onto the open dining area and decorates the tablecloths in extravagant silver beauty. Indrumara allows me to sit next to her as the whole clan gathers for supper. Fagin also joins me on the left as we eat the richly cooked moose that our hunters caught for the day. He instinctively knew something was bothering me, but through my new realization of my elven abilities, Indrumara gave him the message of our previous conversation. I felt his hand rest on mine and I squeeze it. I’m so thankful he is in my life. I can’t imagine what it would be like without him.
During the middle of the meal, someone suddenly walks up to Indrumara with a concerned look. “Indrumara, there is something I must speak with you. I was waiting to tell you earlier, but I cannot hold it in any longer.”
“We can discuss it after supper,” she responds.
“Actually, I think it is important for Larissa to hear this as well,” he says looking at me. I grip my fork and freeze up again. How many more serious conversations must I hear today?
“You see, I’ve been wanting to tell you this the day it happened, but when I saw how delighted you were when we brought her into our home, I thought it would’ve been best to wait. Now that Larissa has reached this mature age, I think she should know the truth.”
She holds up her hand. “I’ve already had the conversation with her. She has heard enough for today.”
“It’s not about her specifically. It’s about Fagin Gylon.”
My heart stops beating and I grip my fork even more.
“What about him?” she asks.
The elf hesitates. “When Fagin ordered us to save Larissa and her sister from Maxel, I tried pulling him back because I felt that Maxel was trying to rescue Larissa, not attack her. After he shot Frank and his wife, he put his gun away. If he intended to hurt her, he still would’ve had his weapon out. I read in his body language he was trying to get her out of there. I explained that to Fagin, but he refused to listen. The more she screamed, the more he fought against me to save her. I couldn’t hold him back any longer. He stormed out of the woods and brought Maxel down savagely. We had no other choice but to follow him. We helped pull the car back on its wheels and I saw he planted the sword in Maxel’s chest. It was as if Fagin’s eyes were the real daggers that gradually pierced Maxel, though. I never have seen them full of monstrous hostility in all my years I’ve known him. He hadn’t attacked an enemy with that much aggression before.”
Hearing the truth about my entire family may have splintered my soul, but now listening to this mahogany about the only person I grew up with and trusted my whole life felt like I was shot by an arrow, deepening the wound until my soul splits into a million pieces, exactly how the air shattered when my parents were killed. My hand couldn’t decide whether to keep gripping onto my fork or throw it onto the ground at the elf’s feet. I stand up and face the weakling.
“How dare you accuse Fagin in such a way? Have you forgotten the light that always shone in him? Not one trace of it has ever faded in my fourteen years of living with any of you.” I look at him dead in the eyes. “You are wrong. Fagin Gylon would never have murdered my grandfather in a gruesome way.”
“But you saw him take Maxel’s life as well, Larissa. I saw you watched him with a look of horror.”
“Because I was a three-year old seeing a stranger stab my grandfather. What child wouldn’t be petrified of that? Fagin had the opportunity to take my life as well, but he didn’t. Instead, he approached me with the softest love not even my own parents gave me. That alone shows he’s not the person you claim him to be.”
Fagin rises as well. “Caplin, you’ve known me for five centuries. I only kill on how we were trained. Not with malice, but with justice.”
Another elf stands and speaks up. “No, Fagin, Caplin’s right. We all sensed Maxel’s behavior towards Larissa. He didn’t have any intend to harm her at all. He only came to rescue her from her parents.”
“Indrumara gave me the order to protect her if something were to happen. I should’ve disobeyed our leader and let an innocent toddler be taken by a murderer?”
Caplin steps forward and looks back at Fagin with a stolid glare, but I can sense the remorse in his eyes. “He still had good intention in him, Fagin. He may have grown corrupt over the decades, but that darkness inside his soul was breaking. I felt his desperation to save her. He begged you to let him go, but you didn’t give him a chance. You were blinded by your own belligerence, just like he was when he left. You were fueled by anger, not justice.”
Indrumara shot upward, her chair moving hastily, sparking a similar sound to a thunderous boom. “My husband became a slave to evil and never even refused to fight. I didn’t want to see my own granddaughters’ purity wither away like he and my own son.”
Caplin’s bravery shrinks like a dying plant from his leader’s voice, but somehow, he doesn’t back down. “We’re telling you the truth, Indrumara. You may have thought he was gone, but he still held onto the remaining pieces of his true self. He wanted to go back to the way he once was, so he tried regaining it by saving Larissa and Stella. That’s why we prevented Fagin from attacking him.”
“But he still committed murder!” Fagin’s voice practically explodes. Whenever he faced a serious situation, he was always calm and formal, not one flame of anger sparked in his tone. But now, his voice roars like a wildfire. The sound of it makes me pull my hand out of his. He looks back at me perplexed, concern ripples in the grassy-green fields of his eyes.
“You see, there you go! You’re already acting combative without you noticing it; the same way when you acted when you took down Maxel. Anything stressful used to glide by you like a butterfly, but now, one little flap can irritate you and you’ll snatch up that creature in seconds, crushing it until its flapping ceases.”
“That is not true,” I plea to Caplin. “He never attempted to hurt me as he raised me. All he gave me was love and patience.” Tears uncontrollably escape my eyes. I can feel my growing weeps desperately trying to put my broken spirit back together.
“He may have acted that way towards you, but you haven’t seen him whenever he was with the other elves. There were multiple moments an eerie dander loomed over him, as if
something was possessing him.” He looks back at Indrumara. “I believe the evil has swept in our land and has taken hostage of our own kind once again.”
Other elves nod. I peek over at her and also see tears streaming in her eyes. Only one however escapes and falls down her smooth cheek. The silence is immensely fragile, nobody dares to break it. Indrumara responds by abandoning the dinner table and walks back into the forest, but before she continues, she looks back at both me and Fagin, but I know her eyes target him. He immediately obeys and follows her in the silver-lit woods. I gaze back at the rest of the elves. They all watch me with the same curiosity the night they waited for me to kill my sister. But instead of running away like a coward, I leave with my head held high, carrying my fractured pieces, and refuse them to fall and crumble into smaller, irreplaceable parts.
***
The door to the only home I’ve ever known opens, bringing in the brightest moonlight I’ve seen in months. I quickly enter the living room and spot Fagin’s silhouette in the door frame. His posture appears as sanguine as usual, but my senses know his heart feels something different. He calmly comes into the house and closes the door.
I run up to him and place my hand on his cheek. “Fagin, what happened?” I ask.
He stares downward; his eyes are as stiff as stone, but they are filled with infinite sadness. “Indrumara eque i ni maure ana lende.” Indrumara says that I need to leave.
The remaining pieces I’ve held onto of myself crash to my feet and my entire soul completely disintegrates.
“Ni indóme lende as tye.’ I will leave with you.
His eyes unfreeze and stares at me startled. “No, you need to stay here,” he says with gentle affirmation.
“You chose to rescue me from my former life. I can’t imagine living the rest of it without you.”
He pulls me into his arms and holds me just as tight when he took me into the woods for the first time. As we embrace each other, I feel an empty hope swirl along with the wandering pieces of my soul in my hollow body. I place my head into his shoulder and release my cries that I’ve been holding onto since my talk with Indrumara.
It feels as if this entire second chance was nothing but a lie. The paradise that took me in from my previously damaged
world turned into the same hell I thought I escaped from. The most virtuous person who protected and raised me with his life, has been infected by the same vile poison that took away my whole family.
If I had to give them up, then I’m not losing another family member.
***
We hand over all of our valuable elven belongings to our brethren. Indrumara watches the both of us with great melancholy, but I realize she focuses on me. I’ve explained to her previously that I knew I had the option to remain in Conimar and allow her to continue raising me, but I simply stated that as much as I cared for her, she wasn’t the one who took care of me every single day the past fourteen years, nor wasn’t always available by my side whenever I needed someone. She’s very wise not only as a grandmother, but a leader, yet, she would only encourage me to be completely independent, rather than providing the comfort and support I’ve received from Fagin.
As I hand my last weapon to one of the elves, Indrumara holds up her hand in interruption, places my Ulinor back into my palm, enclosing my fingers tightly around the handle. “Keep it, in case you need to protect yourself out there.” She places her hand onto my cheek and stares deeply into my eyes. “Larissa, hold onto to whatever
light remains in you. Don’t give into the dark. Remember who you are.”
I nod as I feel tears roll down my cheeks. I give her a farewell hug and squeeze her as tightly as I can. Smelling the rich scent of the woods that lingers on her will make me miss Conimar even more.
“Shine a light for both you and Fagin, no matter how hard the shadows try to dim it.”
I look back into her immortal emerald eyes. “Ni indóme.” I will.
I reluctantly turn away and walk towards Fagin. We both look at each with unbearable grief, but we can both feel the remaining traces of our elven bravery still beating in our hearts. I reach for his hand. He lovingly takes it and we head straight into the auburn woods that exit out of Conimar.
Though my heart stings with every beat, I know one thing is for sure. No matter what darkness lies before us in the human world, and though overtime we will lose our immortality and elven ways, as long as we continue to hold onto the love we’ve had for each other since we first met, love alone can be our brightest light in the dark.
